Sex and birth control and women’s rights

In this current climate when each Southern state feels the need to come up with a crueler-than-the-one-before legislation regarding abortion and women’s health, I keep seeing this meme.

 

 

My initial visceral reaction is to scream “Fuck You! Are you fucking nuts!?!”

But that is not how I respond. I say something along the line of how cruel this statement is to women who are raped, who are unwilling partners, girls who are raped by family members. women who are in abusive situations and cannot afford to leave.

In my head, this statement says we always have a choice when the truth is we don’t. The truth is someone we know or don’t know will force us into something we don’t want. And should we complain, tell, or file a report our word will be questioned every step of the way.

All of these new laws carry dangerous ends for women. Some of them want to force a woman to report a miscarriage to the local police. Some want to imprison women if their miscarriage is found to be an attempted abortion. So the mother will be at fault if something goes wrong, depending on how the judge and jury finds her liability. So does that mean women with hostile wombs will be in jail a lot? I hope it isn’t because her partner hit her in the stomach on purpose because we all know what will happen. His jail term will be much shorter than hers.

Some of these laws will make a woman guilty of filing a false report of rape if the case goes to trial and the man is found not guilty. Considering only 2 in 10 rapes make it to trial and 1 in 10 get a jail sentence. Even then there is no guarantee the judge will give a justified sentence as we saw in the Brock Turner case.

Do we really want this for our daughters or granddaughters? Do we want to judge them all so harshly?

Considering birth control isn’t always covered by insurance (but viagra still is), considering that there are many options that may not be available to a person, I am not sure there are affordable options, let alone those free options are that the meme talks about.

But more importantly, in an age when the birthrate is the lowest it has ever been in America, this meme slut shames every victim who couldn’t fend off a relative or a religious person or a serial rapist or a person they thought was a friend or a true love. I don’t care that you think this  meme is speaking the truth. What you are really saying to these women is “Fuck You! Too bad you couldn’t get your happily ever after. I got mine and I don’t give a shit about you.”

I wouldn’t say or imply that too loudly because you never know when the laws set forth by these Christian Sharias will turn on you and take away your rights as well.

Advertisement

ALL OF US

I recently came across this clever little meme that talks about who is a true American that has given us the right to vote, freedom of speech, freedom to demonstrate, freedom of the press.

 

“It’s the Veteran, not the reporter,
who has given us the freedom of the press.
It’s the Veteran, not the poet,
who has given us the freedom of speech.
It’s the Veteran, not the community organizer,
who gives us the freedom to demonstrate.
It’s the Military who salutes the flag,
who serves beneath the flag,
and whose coffin is draped by the flag,
who allows the protester to burn the flag.”

 

I have news for whoever wrote this.

You’re wrong because it takes all of us to make sure those rights exist and stay in place.

By excluding the community organizer, you exclude the people who call us to arms, to try to right the wrongs of the community as we see it. Community organizers are not just demonstrating in the streets, they are recruiting people to their cause – be it the army, the alt-right, the women’s march, or their house of worship. And whose words are they using?

They use the words of the poets, the dreamers, those who can speak eloquently about the things the rest of us believe but can’t put into words. Thomas Jefferson and Alexander  were incredible writers who put into words the things that our burgeoning nation wanted and dreamed of. Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence that still stirs our souls over two hundred years later. Hamilton wrote various portions of the Constitution and went on to write the majority of the Federalist Papers that define and explain the Constitution even further. Where would we be without the writers of the Star Spangled Banner, God Bless America, or I’m Proud to be an American?

By excluding the voter, you exclude the people  who do the hardest part of this nation. They go to the ballot box and make their voice heard. Sometimes your side wins, sometimes your side loses. Other nations fight for this right. Other nations have election day ruined by those factions who throw acid or shoot at voters. That doesn’t happen here. And let’s work to make sure that never does happen.

You want to prop up the military as the only fighters of freedom. And a part of me understands. But the other part says that’s not going to happen because the military isn’t the only one doing the heavy lifting of democracy. The work belongs to all of us – the poet, the organizer, the artist, the voter, the journalist, the mother and father, the every day joe and josephine, the soldier.

Someone has to inspire, someone has to gather us together, someone has to create the images and flags, someone has to write about it, someone has to work with the children, someone has to do the everyday work of the nation, someone has to protect it. We are in this together despite looking and being different in so many way.

DEMOCRACY REQUIRES ALL OF US!

 

So Together
by Kadir Nelson

The only question left is what are you doing to protect our democracy?

 

 

 

What This Country Needs . . .

Have you noticed that lately there have been a lot of posts on Facebook with the suggestion of what this country is missing.

Jesus is the big one. We need more Jesus and more faith in God.

 

Other people are wishing for morals and manners.

One of my friends shared a meme that said we need more front porches being utilized by friends and neighbors.

My favorite is that we need to help Grandma snap more green beans.

I am sure you are waiting for me to have some snappy come back for all of this. But I am going to keep it simple.

Great! You start.

That’s right. If you have the guts to put this on the wall, then start doing it. No one else will know what you want until you start modeling the behavior. You know that saying from Ghandi about being the change you want to see in the world? The one you have snorted about and said “Yeah, right?” That’s what I am asking you to do.

Oh, there are lots of people out there willing to be jerks, to not hold the door open or push their way to the front of the line when you were clearly there ahead of them. So be their opposite. Hold a door open, say ‘thank you’ and ‘you’re welcome’ when it is deserved. Show people how manners work and chances are they will start to pick something up.

You know that mom who is trying to get around Walmart with the screaming kid right after she gets off of work? Pay attention and you might find that she has told the child he is staying in the cart and cannot run around. Instead of standing with your buds and criticizing her for having a yelling child, support her for being willing to say ‘no’ to the child and stand her ground.

And that one about Jesus being needed in our country? Show people what Christian love is all about and, to paraphrase St. Francis of Assisi, use words if necessary. Be the only bible that others may read and live out the behavior Christ wanted us to model. And then do something bigger, like actually go to church. Once you go to church, start helping with a mission project or with youth group. I promise you will expand your thoughts and your faith. I can’t guarantee there will not be some frustration at times but how you help others will matter.

The same goes with the porch thing. Start hanging out on your porch during good weather days. Ask your friends to join you, sometime. Say hello to neighbors as they pass by on their regular walks. As you work on the flower garden in front of your house, sooner or later some gardener will ask you questions. Join the conversation and be a good neighbor.

Lastly, there is the thing about the green beans. Not everyone likes green beans, not everyone likes to snap green beans. So what. Go to the farmers market, buy a bunch for Sunday dinner, invite the family over, and have the grand kids help you snap the beans. They will hate you for it. Again, so what. Start talking to them while snapping beans about life, about memories, about them. Expand to other veggies when green beans go out of season. Expand to making cookies or pie crust together. Keep talking.

Will any of this instantly make the world a better place? Probably not. But it will make the world around you better. You will know that you taught people how to be polite, how to give to others, and how faith works in your life. You can teach them how to behave in the best possible manner. And you might learn how to cook green beans in a tasty fashion. I prefer saute in butter and thin sliced almonds.

How are you going to make your corner of the world better?

 

Rockstar Mom

I am sure that many of you have seen the meme that was going around saying how parents/moms are like rockstars.

I loved it because I live it. I know a minivan can be rocked by singing and dancing teens. I get followed in the bathroom still. The phone only rings when I step in the shower. Sit on the couch doing nothing and no one bothers you, start a project and there is nothing they don’t want – especially the husband.

But when I saw this meme, I decided that I should dress and live like a rock star.

Why not?

I already have the ridicuous back leather purse with black leather ribbon on the front. I have long hair that sometimes accepts a curl. Plus, I have lost weight that allows me to wear clothes that look better on this body.

So my skinny jeans are paired with long sweaters and shiny silky camis. I wear boots with a corduroy printed skirt and a coordinated tee. My black leather skirt is paired with statement cardis or colorful tees. If I am not wearing the boots, I am wearing a silver pair of flats.

Then I found this book.

It seemed funny to me that I found this book while I am on the journey to be my best with a little flair. So, of course, I had to check it out.

I love this book because Anne Burrell gives a bunch of great recipes. But before that she explains what items you should have in your kitchen as well as what staples should be in your pantry.

For those of you who have wondered what you need besides some of the basics, this list is really wonderful. The truth is, once you have these items in the pantry you don’t have to go buying them special. When I add something new, it tends to stick around and get used for something else. I have never made polenta but I am considering it just to add to my repetoire.

Many of Anne’s recipes has an Italien flair to them but with a little something different such as fish fillets in paper or braised lamb shanks. I was looking at the Brussel Sprouts with Walnuts, Sausage Ragu, and Pasta Fagioli as possible dishes to try. For me the Rockstar part of cooking is using fresh herbs whenever possible along with a little Balsimic Vinegar or wine in your cooking to give the dish a little extra flair.

Are you a rock star parent? How do you show off your style?