Tag Archive: domestic


Picture by NPClark2K

Last week, I listened to a radio talk show host try to open a discussion about whether or not feminism was done. Do we really need it anymore?

 The host tells us women to be careful of what you wish for, having to work and all that. Then he asks women to call in to answer this question: If you could stay at home and not work, would you?

 Would I? Yes, but I am not independently wealthy. I think if you asked the men in the audience the same question the answer is a resounding yes. But that is not the point here. This question does not truly answer if feminism is no longer a worthwhile platform in our country or the world. It is a boondoogle at best.

 What the radio host assumed was that men would keep their end of the bargain. They would go to work and support the family. But what this man

Picture by Taylor Schlades

does not account for is the man who does not stay, who would rather drink and beat up his wife before making the final exit. Or go live in another state so he could not be found to pay child support.

 My mother tells a story about looking for a job after my biological father left. The person who was looking at her application told her he was going to do her a favor and not hire her so she could spend more time with her children. Her response was bitter and angry but truthful. “I’ll remember that when my children are starving.”

 The boss man and the above radio host assume women work because they want to, because their soul needs something more to be emotionally fulfilled.  And while I am sure some do, the majority does not. Others work because they have mouths to feed and bills to pay. Children need clothes and school supplies, a roof over their head and milk in the refrigerator. Or maybe they want a better lifestyle than in which they grew up.

 Feminism has made it easier for my generation to become doctors and lawyers. We can earn good money and support our families. The women who come up behind us see a country that now has 17 women in the U.S. Senate and 3 women on the Supreme Court. That was not the case when I was in my 20s.

 The tenets of feminism will never be dead and useless as long as there are women suffering abuse as they do in Iran. Sakineh Mohammadi Ashtiani has been sentenced to 99 lashes because a picture of her without the scarf covering her face was published in TIME magazine.

 Her son, Sajjad Ghaderzadeh, has written an open letter seeking justice.

 “My mother has been called in to see the judge in charge of prison misdemeanors and he has sentenced our helpless mother to 99 lashes on false charges of spreading corruption and indecency by disseminating this picture of a woman presumed to be her [Sakineh] without hijab,” he wrote according to a Sept. 4, 2010 CNN report.

 This same woman is facing a death sentence for adultry. I wonder if her partner in that crime was given any sort of punishment. I wonder if any male participants in adultry in Iran are charged and punished.

Identity of woman in picture unknown, picture by ali110.

When I hear of these tales from lands that act as if a woman does not matter and is only good for keeping the house, that if only they would stop being frivilous and disrespectful to their husbands there would not be domestic violence, I thank God for feminism. I thank God that other women fought for my right to work outside of the home, to go to school, to not have to stay in an abusive marriage.

 But then I pray to God that those women in other places will someday have the same rights that so many women in our country currently take for granted.

This Sunday, our family will be watching the Oscars. My son states that some day he will be an actor and should watch it while I love the celebration of it all.

Most of the time Oscar movies are known for being serious and thought -provoking. These movies are imbued with social commentaries on the American lifestyle.

One of the few exceptions I can think of is Shakespeare In Love which was a dizzying romp about a love affair Shakespeare might have had. Plus I loved the performance within a performance aspect of the movie.

If Oscar movies are filled with deeper meanings, is it fair to say that other movies are not? Considering that a variety of horror movies are having a say about something why not some of these far out comedies?

 This past week, the husband and I watched The Hangover and he began noticing little commentaries all over the place. He pointed out the Chinese guy saying “fat guy falling is funny. Is only funny because it is a fat guy.”

While my husband contends that this is Asian humor, I would say that we have been laughing at fat guys in the movies ever since Fatty Arbuckle during the Silent Movie era. Slap stick is funny. And we laugh whenever someone gets hurt. Isn’t that the true appeal of Funniest Home Videos?

Another interesting commentary is about domestic violence. In this case, the victim is a guy who has a very suspicious significant other. They are not married but she constantly checks his credit card records and gets angry when he does not answer her calls. Plus she is displaying this very classic abuser behavior after having an affair of her own. The guy justifies his partner’s behavior by brushing it off or making light of the affair.

When the denouement occurs at the end of the movie, we are happy and cheering for the guy. Would we be doing the same for a woman?  That theme seems ripe for digging into and exploring.

More than anything, The Hangover is a total guy movie. The events are things that might happen to guys who are in Vegas and ingest more alcohol and drugs than they should. Even the father-in-law brushes off the groom being late to the wedding by saying ‘that’s Vegas.’ We excuse some terrible behavior because it all happened in Vegas. No where else would kidnapping a tiger that belongs to a celebrity be ok.

These men are allowed to be kids on this trip because otherwise they are professionals with serious relationships and/or families. Professionals who may or may not be happy in their life. Does their unhappiness condone this behavior? That is something I would like to think about.

By the way, I would not suggest The Hangover for the younger set. It is a firm “R” rating and should be treated as such.

Until next week, see you in the rental aisle.

Let the world, or at least St. Anne, know your family’s recent selection by dropping a line to momgoestothemovies@sbcglobal.net. You can also ‘friend’ me on Facebook.