Scary Movies That Fail

Family Movie Night

 

By Karyn Bowman

 

It is Halloween week. Just because it is the day or two after doesn’t mean we are going to stop watching those Halloween movies. But let’s do something different.

 

Let’s celebrate the bad movies, the lame thrillers and horror movies. Let’s celebrate those that set up rules and then not follow them. Let’s celebrate those that decided to make a movie based on a bad idea but kept going anyway because the star said he would have it no other way.

 

I am not talking about movies like Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13^th. As much as I cannot watch them, I have to admire movies that are well made and consistent in their storytelling.

 

Poster Image from IMDb.com

Let’s talk about bad movies such as DarknessFalls.  This movie has an interesting premise. An old woman is lynched after being falsely accused of harming children. But at her death she vows to come back and take children away by killing them when they lose their last baby tooth should they see her.

 

On the night Kyle loses his last baby tooth, he sees the apparition and he stays in the light. But his mother makes the mistake of stepping into a darken room and, well, what happens next is not pretty. As an adult, Kyle chooses to live in Las Vegas and he carries super duper flashlights with him at all times.

 

That is when his friend Caitlyn calls asking for help because her little brother is going through the same issues that Kyle went through. So he returns and the fun begins.

 

I like the premise of this movie because it is based on real fears of what can happen in the dark, what can happen in the places we cannot see. But here is the problem. The light issue can be hit or miss, the amount of light does not seem to matter for when the tooth fairy can get you. She starts showing up in the strangest of places.

 

Plus, some of the town’s people do not believe or even know that the Tooth Fairy exists, such as one townie that yells out “these are my woods” right before the worst that can happen, happens. The town has a curse on it and most people do not know about it? Sorry, not buying that part.

 

Poster Image from IMDb.com

But this movie is nothing compared to Snakes on a Plane starring Samuel L. Jackson. The legend of this movie is that Samuel L. Jackson loved the cheesy title so much, he would not make the movie unless the title was retained. Another interesting point is there was a lot of internet chatter about this movie with interested parties leaving plot ideas.

 

The basic plot is this: A witness against a mob boss has to fly to the trial. Of course, there are people who want to prevent this. So the plane is rigged to release a number of hungry dangerous and poisonous snakes in the belief one or more will take out the witness and confusing doctors from giving him the right antidote.

 

The agent taking the witness in is Samuel L. Jackson (playing himself) and no one should mess with this guy. Julianne Margulies is the lead stewardess who is on her last flight before heading off to med school.

 

As the cast dwindles and the flight comes close to landing, there is the pivotal moment that must happen to make every other bad moment in this movie worth sitting through.

 

Are these selections horrible? Well, yes, they are. And maybe the opportunity to make fun of them is the only good thing about these movies.

 

Do you have favorite bad movies?

 

Until next week, see you in the rental aisle.

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Box in the Hand or Flying Over the Wire?

Family Movie Night

 

by Karyn Bowman

 

The other day, we were at a party talking to people about streaming video.

 

They liked it for the ease and convenience of not having to go anywhere for a movie, especially if they remember at 8 in the evening. But then the wife said something I found interesting.

 

She stated she missed going to a video store and walking through the racks to find a movie. I couldn’t agree more because there is something to touching and feeling a movie box. I love reading the descriptions on the back, looking the pictures and seeing who is in the movie. I have stumbled on great movies because I was walking through the aisles, not knowing what I really wanted.

 

Streaming is easy, takes one errand off the list of things to do. That can be great when you have kids who cannot handle more than three stops before they get a treat. But there is something lost in not seeing all of the choice out there on a wall in front of your face.

What do you think about streaming?

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Poster Image from IMDb.com

This week my list of movies to see has just gotten longer with the release of One For the Money starring Katherine Heigl in the adaptation of the Janet Evanovich’s Stephanie Plum series. The premise is that Plum becomes a bail bonds man after losing her job, moving back in with her parents, and recovering from a nasty divorce.

 

I know what the critics have said about this movie, I know it is bad. But sometimes a bad movie has its place – to laugh at its stupidity, to smile at the bad jokes, to go along gamely with the actors who know the movie is bad but decided to have fun with it. I love the smile on Heigl’s face as she brings in a guy who insists on being naked because “the ‘boys’ need air.”

 

As you can guess, this one is not for family viewing.

 

Poster Image from IMDb.com

How lucky for us that a good anime, family-friendly film has just been released to the home market. We saw The Secret World of Arrietty at the theater and loved it. The story is about little people who live in our world and take what they need but not in great amounts so it will not be discovered. It is based on the story of The Borrowers. This movie is suitable for children as young as kindergarten-age and their older siblings.

 

In this movie, Arrietty is a 14-year-old girl who is about to learn to art of borrowing from her father. The house that they live in has been inhabited only by a housekeeper. But now a boy, resting before major surgery, is moving in. And when he discovers Arrietty one night, her world faces major challenges.

 

This movie comes from the studios of Hayao Miyazaki, a film-making master.  Many of his techniques are employed in this movie with beautiful animation, solid storytelling in a manner that is not rushed. And the voice over work by Amy Poehler, Will Arnett, Bridget Mendler, David Hendrie and Carol Burnett are perfect for their characters.

 

 

Until next week, see you in the rental aisle.