Valentine’s Day has passed and quite frankly, I am a little relieved.
Many of us are lucky enough to have found our one and only. We have a great partner and get to let them know how lucky we are to have that person in our lives.
But then there is that one friend. You know the one. The one who has no one in their lives, the one that seems to be a magnet for losers and users. You feel sorry for this friend because what they want more than anything is to be a part of a couple, to have that true love thing going.
Poster Image from IMDb.com
Let’s face it, movies show true love all of the time. It looks so easy even when it is not. Over the weekend I watched The Princess Bride with my kids. It is filled with action, adventure, revenge. How does Inigo get Miracle Max to save Wesley? By promising humiliation galore to the man who fired Max.
But the deepest part of the message in this movie is about true love, how it can defeat death and come back to save a person. It is about a love so strong that even when a person is being very annoying, her true love still loves her. Isn’t that the kind of love we all want? To me The Princess Bride depicts the impossible love affair that we desire but may never ever see.
Instead, we look to movies such as The Holiday starring Kate Winslet and Jack Black to show us how love can just happen. After the Winslet character has her heart broken by the cad who gets engaged to another woman, she decides to switch houses with another woman in a split second. While in L.A., Winslet meets Black who doesn’t try to sweep her off her feet. Instead, they become friends who do things together over the course of 10 days and begin to like each other.
Kate Winslet and Jack Black in “The Holiday,” Picture from IMDb.com
Now take a closer look at these two characters. Winslet and Black want to be swept off their feet with love. They are both desperate for it. At the beginning of her trip, Winslet is ready to fall in love with a handsome man on the airplane who might be her seat mate. Black is crazy about a woman who seems to ignore his interest in her. Both are looking for that overwhelming feeling of being the only person their love sees romantically.
I believe that is what my friend wants as well. She wants that love everlasting with your best friend kind of love. If I thought she would listen to me, I would tell her to back off a little. Stop acting as if every new guy she meets has the potential to be “the one.” Don’t play impossible to get but maybe let the guy know you have stuff going on and are not always available. Take the time to pamper and love yourself. In doing that, you change your perspective of you.
Love is not always like we see in the movies. There are messy times and arguments and unreasonable behavior. If I could tell anything to my friends who are searching for love, it would be to love yourself first and the rest will follow if it is meant to be. In the
Sleepless in Seattle with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan
end, perhaps what we really want is what Meg Ryan wanted in Sleepless in Seattle. She wanted to fall in love like they do in the movies despite how unrealistic it might be at times. She wanted to be swept up and feel magic at the touch of the other person’s hand.
Sometimes, when I am swamped by work and household duties and kid activities, I feel the same way.