Family Movie Night
By Karyn Bowman
It is Halloween week. Just because it is the day or two after doesn’t mean we are going to stop watching those Halloween movies. But let’s do something different.
Let’s celebrate the bad movies, the lame thrillers and horror movies. Let’s celebrate those that set up rules and then not follow them. Let’s celebrate those that decided to make a movie based on a bad idea but kept going anyway because the star said he would have it no other way.
I am not talking about movies like Nightmare on Elm Street or Friday the 13th. As much as I cannot watch them, I have to admire movies that are well made and consistent in their storytelling.
Let’s talk about bad movies such as DarknessFalls. This movie has an interesting premise. An old woman is lynched after being falsely accused of harming children. But at her death she vows to come back and take children away by killing them when they lose their last baby tooth should they see her.
On the night Kyle loses his last baby tooth, he sees the apparition and he stays in the light. But his mother makes the mistake of stepping into a darken room and, well, what happens next is not pretty. As an adult, Kyle chooses to live in Las Vegas and he carries super duper flashlights with him at all times.
That is when his friend Caitlyn calls asking for help because her little brother is going through the same issues that Kyle went through. So he returns and the fun begins.
I like the premise of this movie because it is based on real fears of what can happen in the dark, what can happen in the places we cannot see. But here is the problem. The light issue can be hit or miss, the amount of light does not seem to matter for when the tooth fairy can get you. She starts showing up in the strangest of places.
Plus, some of the town’s people do not believe or even know that the Tooth Fairy exists, such as one townie that yells out “these are my woods” right before the worst that can happen, happens. The town has a curse on it and most people do not know about it? Sorry, not buying that part.
But this movie is nothing compared to Snakes on a Plane starring Samuel L. Jackson. The legend of this movie is that Samuel L. Jackson loved the cheesy title so much, he would not make the movie unless the title was retained. Another interesting point is there was a lot of internet chatter about this movie with interested parties leaving plot ideas.
The basic plot is this: A witness against a mob boss has to fly to the trial. Of course, there are people who want to prevent this. So the plane is rigged to release a number of hungry dangerous and poisonous snakes in the belief one or more will take out the witness and confusing doctors from giving him the right antidote.
The agent taking the witness in is Samuel L. Jackson (playing himself) and no one should mess with this guy. Julianne Margulies is the lead stewardess who is on her last flight before heading off to med school.
As the cast dwindles and the flight comes close to landing, there is the pivotal moment that must happen to make every other bad moment in this movie worth sitting through.
Are these selections horrible? Well, yes, they are. And maybe the opportunity to make fun of them is the only good thing about these movies.
Do you have favorite bad movies?
Until next week, see you in the rental aisle.