Sometimes when I get depressed, I find I have to do the crazy thing running around in my brain to break its hold on me.
Like the time I ate an entire half gallon of ice cream.
I was depressed about various episodes in my life at this time. The only thing I wanted to do was eat ice cream but my head kept saying that was wrong. What would that do to my waistline?
The strange thing was I realized I had to do it. Damm my weight and potential guilt, damm it all. I was going to eat that half gallon.
So I did. I could not even tell you what flavor it was although I am sure it was chocolate of some sort.
By the time I was done, I realized I had a whole evening left. And eating the ice cream had not solved the problem. The problem was still there. The change was how I felt about it. Wallowing in my misery made me realize I could work things through, things could get better and I was being silly in eating that entire half gallon which I probably got on sale anyway.
I was thinking about that last week as the shroud of depression peeled away from me slowly last week. I spent Christmas day in bed after unwrapping of gifts, going to church, having a mid-morning hike and lunch at a chinese buffet. I was so tired, for no good reason, that I laid down and slept for hours. It was dark when I got out of bed. I really wanted to stay there and sleep some more but I felt that the family wanted to see me.
I went to bed at the regular time that night and slept some more. But this time when I woke up, I actually felt rested. Each day became better and then I began to think about what my new year’s resolution should be, what I wanted to acheive this year.
In the last month I had begun to feel as if I was not accomplishing anything. I was feeling as if I have not changed the world or made a difference in the area where I live. I looked at the pile of unfinished quilt tops and home projects that are only half way or one quarter of the way completed.
And it was driving me crazy.
That is when I read one post about resolutions that had been freshly pressed and had my own epiphany. Some of my volunteer efforts are in work areas I am considering. I purposely took them on to dip my foot in that pool. I purposely joined a writer’s group to make myself more accountable in my goal to finally write a novel. I have started decluttering and getting rid of the stuff I do not want while keeping those things that make me happy.
So I decided to make this year the year of completions. Those six unfinished quilt projects are getting done. The kitchen cabinets are getting painted and new hardware, the living room will get new paint and slipcovers for the couches. My daughter’s room is going to be painted to reflect her tween status. Closets, including the Closet of Doom, are getting cleared out. All of these things that I have wanted to get done are getting done.
My plan is to take on one thing at a time. I have to keep up with writing and that will be on a different schedule. But craft, decorating and decluttering projects are going to happen step-by-step. I do not plan to run around willy-nilly getting things done. Just as the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace program talks about starting with the smallest thing first to give a sense of making progress, I plan to work on those projects that are easiest to complete right away. First off will be an embroidery kit I have been working on for years. Next will be the quilting project needing some applique work. In the spring, I will work on painting projects.
Along the way I plan to put up pictures to show how it is progressing. You will see the before and after pictures of rooms as well as some projects.
Then, there are the rewards. Being kinder to myself was brought up in the comments last week and I intend to do that, to remind myself that I am human and what gets done, is what gets done. But when something gets done that is a big deal, I plan to reward myself for doing the job, for completion.
So task number one of making the goal known is completed. Next up, working on that embroidery project that should have been done at least ten years ago. I am very excited about this.
Are you working on any resolutions?
Notes from Rumbly Cottage 
Good for you! I can completely relate to this post. This is the year I am going to do things, not just talk about them. I just went to a hospital today to volunteer my services to help those diagnosed with cancer. I am beyond excited. I’m working on finally going back to school. I feel like I’m too old, but then, it’s never too late to change my career path. This will probably be the biggest year for me in terms of change. I am excited, scared, but mostly optimistic for the first time in a looooong time. I wish you nothing but success with everything you tackle this year. Cheers to you!
What are you going back to schoo to study?
This is good! Every goal must be broken down into smaller and smaller goals until they can be managed. I am determined to make 2012 a year of celebration as well as advancement!
Celebration absolutely has to be a part of this year.
You’ve got a plan, and yes – that is the first step. Excellent job in putting one foot in front, Karyn. Keep taking baby steps with your eye on the prize. You’ll do great!
There’s nothing like completing a project or three to make you feel good about all kinds of things–most importantly, yourself. Good for you!
I have a vest that I’ve started. I’ve cut it out so far. I have to mark it. But I may do that as I go along. It all seems laborous right now. I started it 3 months ago. I know once I get it going I’ll be ok, but I just don’t have any ambition to start it. It’s just sitting next to me here gathering dust. And I have a new sewing machine to boot. But no interest.
So if you start, I’ll start.
I am putting up a picture, soon.
You have a plan and I sense your excitement. Redecorating your surroundings seems to be what you are most excited about, and the projects are sensibly scheduled. I’m looking forward to the updates.
yes my darling you are absolutely right. Make a list of little bite sized pieces, then do a corner at a time. None of us can achieve huge amounts, but I CAN throw out Three pairs of shoes I never wear – tomorrow. Be very specific and make it very doable. have fun too tho.. put that on your list! c
I have a hard time throwing out shoes. However, I have a pair of mom jeans that need to go.
My goodness, Girlfriend. You aimed to hurt yourself with a half gallon of ice cream. I guess a pint of Hagen Daz, wouldn’t do. Try that next time. And dress up in all red, so you can feel like you’re hot and snooty eating that expensive ice cream. If you’re gonna do bad things to yourself, be good at it.
Well, I was in my thirties at the time. The metabolism ran a little faster. Plus, I grank a gallon or so of water. That helped with the digestion. And I was feeling pretty low. I have never felt the need to do that one again. These days, when I feel down like like, I stay in bed.
Sounds like you’ve got a great plan. I think we get sucked into a vortex of expecting too much of ourselves. We think we can do everything all at once, when in fact, we can really only do one thing (maybe two) at a time. The weight of all those demand settles like a blanket of fog. I think you’ve settled on a great plan to escape the fog, just finish up projects one after another and don’t take on any new ones till you’ve completed the old ones.
I only successfully kept one NYR in my life. It was when I was in the 4th grade and I was a brutal nail biter. I’d gnaw those puppies till they bled. That year, I decided I would never bite my nails again. And I didn’t. I think that one resolution sucked up a life time’s worth of will power! Now all I am guilty of is the occasional nibbling or ripping of a hangnail, which can also be a bit of a disaster, but not nearly as bad as that nail biting was.
Sounds much like my thoughts for myself for this year. Just getting stuff done, one job at a time, rather than letting myself be overwhelmed by how much there is to do and not doing any of it. I look forward to hearing of your accomplishments and following suit. 🙂
Thanks for stopping by my blog … looking forward to seeing your progress, particularly your quilts. Do you prefer a specific style of fabric/design, or are you as versatile with your patchwork as you are with your blog?
I like to mess with a variety of blocks and fabrics. I have done 30s reproduction fabric and thimbleberries. I have a picture of a denim quilt that I made with non-traditional small prints. I mess with stars, pinwheels, bear claw and house blocks. Yep, guess you could say I mix it up.