It is the middle of the holiday season and it seems as if our hearts are more open to pleas of mercy and understanding.
Image by Wcizmowski
On my Facebook account, it seems as if everyone has a tale that makes you want to be understanding whether the issue is bullying, cancer awareness or calling this holiday ‘Christmas’ as opposed to ‘holiday.’
But then it creeps in. The guilt line.
“I bet most of you will not repeat this or put it in your status.”
If you do not you are less of a Christian, less of a person, a failure of a human being. You have no heart, no spirit, no soul.
Or you are like me. You give the flying finger to the guilt inducing note by deleting it, ignoring it or, on one of your not-so-good days, write a comment saying how lousy it is to give these guilt trips.
After all, do we not have enough guilt about everything we are not doing for the holidays, for our kids, for our community? Have you given enough this season, volunteered enough, made your kids happy enough while working around the dysfunction that surrounds you?
Here is someone you know a little or a lot trying to guilt you into agreeing with their point of view. Suddenly, you are a bad person for not agreeing and you did not even get to hit the ‘like’ button yet. Chances are you might agree with them. But that line stands in the way of complete agreement.
Here is what I am telling you to do.
Feel guilt free as you do not hit ‘like’ or pass on the email.
Let it go un-noticed.
Kids have been dodging mothers’ guilt trips for years, sometimes successfully and sometimes not. Why not take a page out of that book?
Let this be your guilt free moment of not allowing someone else’s need to be insufferable right earnest and make you ‘less than’ because you are not in the 10% who are going to re-post their statement or forward their worthwhile-but-guilt-inducing message.
They want the drama, the top of the mountain feel of being right, and the knowledge that they can get other people to follow them.
Image from klondikebar.com
If you still feel the need to re-post, I understand. But leave the guilt at the curb because if you direct it to me with that line about how most people are not going to put this on their status, you can bet I am in that 90%.
Even if it means giving up a Klondike bar.
I agree whole-heartedly with you! And I do jut what you suggest: I ignore these posts, regardless of content or who they are from. I am generally someone who is very willing to play along with requests, but I draw the line at acting out of someone else’s guilt. Good for you for standing up! ~ Sheila
I so agree with you!
Amen. I totally ignore all of those requests/demands! Thanks for giving us permission! ;)
I’ve taken to acknowledging birthdays on fb and just get updated on babies, weddings, outstanding milestones/accomplishments or funerals. Reposting these pleas are ignored by me. And I can’t, just can’t join an fb discussion that only consists of soundbites.
That is why I am on facebook. I love seeing what my faraway family members are up to. I have one neice who could do a post-a-week on the exploits of her 3 y.o. son. But those requests and emails are ignored soundly by my silence.
People take FB very seriously. And that’s ashame. To me it’s a toy. A source of entertainment. Whatcha doin? What did you do today? What’s on your mind.
I don’t believe in delving into political, religious, or any other sensitive subjects in my status line. I’ll post a rant but that’s about as far as I’ll go as far as debatable statements go. Certain things shouldn’t be discussed in open forum.
Guilt? Never! I’ll delete that puppy in a heart beat. And enjoy every second of it.
I think you’ve struck a nerve with many people. I delete them as they come in and never look back. The same with those “well-intentioned” chain emails, no matter how great the reward for passing it along. Whatever.
I think I have as well. I think about those rewards, how I need those rewards and then ignore the chain letter.
Well said! I don’t know how many times I’ve thought, “Wow, this tells me something about this person I didn’t know before,” as I read some interesting post, only to get punched in the gut by this kind of threat at the end. A moment of connection and perhaps understanding — someone sharing how they think or feel about something — has been twisted into emotional extortion. I feel sad for the opportunity lost and angry at the attempt to manipulate my feelings and behavior.
That punch in the gut is the perfect description. That is how I feel everytime when I get to that line.
Amen!
Hooray for a voice of sanity! I agree wholeheartedly!!!
Yes, yes – what you said!
Count me in on not re-posting guilt trips nor forwarding chain letters!
I think you have struck a chord here. Excellent post.
I agree with you ! So if I repost this can have the klondike bar ;)
Only if you are buying.
Guilt. Oy vey and Lordy loo! I got it from both ends–Jewish and Catholic. That’s why I’m drawn to Buddhism–it’s a guilt-free zone. But i would’ve felt guilty not commenting on your well-executed and perfectly titled blog post… :| It’s a journey.
Oh I already ignore those posts. One day I finally had to respond. I told the person I agreed with everything they said but don’t expect me to repost. I don’t pass on chain letters, chain emails. And ya know, nothing evil has happened to me.
I’m with you 100% because I am STILL waiting on that check from Bill Gates from forwarding that chain letter to 468 people 10 years ago on AOL. Hmm, that reminds me . . . I should probably follow up on that.
Wait, I was supposed to get that money.
Sounds good. Great gift: to live in joy rather than in guilt. Nice post.
Oh, I’m with you on that one! Those challenging posts, along with forwarded emails that you’re supposed to forward to 5, 10, 100 of your best friends…they are nothing more than chain letters reformed for cyberspace. I’ve gotten good at ignoring most of the reposts…unless it happens to be a topic that really is dear to my heart. I ignore the forwarded emails, too, unless the message is particularly appealing, in which case I strip all the threats and pleas to action.
Last week, though I went a little ballistic. Someone who is in the habit of posting endless little cutsy sayings on FB had posted something to the effect of “If you don’t believe, as I do, in the glory of Christ….don’t let the door slap you on the behind as you leave the country.” Well…that was the gist, anyway. I was so insensed by this that I responded, TWICE! I even used language which I would never use on FB. I figured I’d open a storm of controversy, but nothing happened. I didn’t even get defriended. Darn it.
I don’t mind people sharing their obsessions, their passions, their beliefs…unless they expect me to be on the exact same page.
I have to admit I have thought about ‘unfriending’ those people who send the guilt posts. Maybe next time I will give the the ‘bitch slap’ comment instead.
Agree 100%. … skip right past and ignore :) MJ
Those things drive me crazy! They’re like the spam emails, or before that, chain letters, that tell you to continue the chain or you’ll have bad luck – they just spin it a bit differently. I definitely don’t feel guilty about ignoring them.
My kinda post rumbley. Great job as usual.
Reblogged this on THE ROYCROFT REPORT 2011.
Well I attempted to repost this but for some reason it wouldn’t display properly. Sorry.