A few weeks ago an incident at a park bothered me. Really bothered me despite it having nothing to do with me or my actions.
Picture by Click
It was the Fourth of July and our town was having a celebration that was also raising money for new playground equipment. We had fun and had a hand at raising nearly $6,000 for the new park. That was the great part of the day.
However, while I was there talking to another tee-ball mom a little boy came along to play in the sand. He was without parent. At first he was throwing sand but a stern look from me stopped that behavior. He continued on playing with my friend’s little girl – in the sand – for 15 or 20 minutes.
That is when mom finally came on the scene and she was angry. How dare he play in the sand and get all dirty. A smack to the head was followed by his crying and being dragged off by angry mom.
It was over in a minute but I felt shocked at what I was seeing. There are certain rules of parenting that should not get broken and one of them is being an unreasonable bitch. Hitting your kids in public is no longer allowed. And certainly leaving your kid alone for twenty minutes and then getting pissed at him should have given me the right to smack her like she smacked her five-year-old.
Picture by Anita Patterson
Did that mom not know they were at a public park? Sand and dirt are all over the place – in sandboxes and on baseball fields. Kids are going to find it. Did she tell him not to get dirty when they got there?
That is like bringing a kid to a jump house place and saying “Ok, no playing in any of the bouncy houses. I don’t want you getting hurt.” What kind of stupid idiot parent brings a kid somewhere that has sand and then tells them not to play in the sand?
While we are at it, what kind of stupid parent brings their kid to a fun fair at a park and does not know where their kid is for 20 minutes?
This mom shows up and acts as if what the kid was doing was a total surprise to her. Where was she during all of that time? Talking to friends? Having a good time, not noticing her kid throwing sand and being reprimanded by another mom? It is one thing to be an idiot mom and not notice your kid. It is another to reprimand him in the worst way possible.
That’s right. Smacking a kid because you took him to a park where there was sand and dirt while telling him he cannot get dirty. And when he plays in that irresistable pile of sand while you were not paying attention for 20 minutes that gives the parent the right to smack the child and smack him hard. What if I place that parent in a bar and then told them the only thing they could drink was water. No beer, wine, mixed drink, hard lemonade, nothing.
You know what will happen next. They will try the water but nothing is a good as what you cannot have. The desire grows and then someone hands them a favorite alcoholic drink. That is when I get to swoop in and “whammy!” with the back of my hand.
While I enjoy the imagery of that last thought, here are a few rules for parents to live by.
1. If you go to the park, kids will find the dirt and/or sand. Don’t go thinking they will stay perfectly clean or by your side while you talk endless trash with your friends. They will get bored, they will look for something to do and chances are it will involve sand and/or dirt. If it bothers you that much, bring along hand sanitizer, baby wipes or a plastic bubble to put around your kid.
2. Keep an eye on your child – no matter what. If they are under the age of 8, watch what they are doing and do not be surprised when they find something to do involving dirt/sand/mud when you are not looking. You can still talk to your friends, just move around so your child is within your eye-sight line.
3. Do not hit your child. In public, in private, anywhere. Especially if what you are really mad about is your own shortcomings. You blew it in public and then yelled at your child before smacking them to let that kid know he did wrong. A wrong you did not catch till too late. Who is really in the wrong?
So is there good news here?
Yes, there is. You can be a better parent. You can start observing your child better, setting parameters more clearly, acting better towards your child. You can be the grown-up who controls their own actions.
A Babe-In-Total-Control-of-Herself.
Otherwise, a bitch, like myself, might not be disiplining just your child. She might take her cell phone to call the cops to disipline you if she doesn’t do it herself first.
love this! forgot all about playground politics now that my kids are older.
Wow I can tell this really upset you cause you mentioned the incident about 3 times. But I agree. Those parents who leave their kids for others to take care of make me crazy.
I was really, really upset. Could not believe it. It was two weeks ago and I still get heavily riled. No longer am I standing around looking stunned at such behavior.
Yikes! is all I can say. You really laid it out and justly put all moms on notice. My heart goes out to the little boy of 5.
I’ve had this happen a few times and it completely amazes me how parents don’t watch their children at all, especially young kids, at all times. Usually I end up supervising them because I’m concerned for their safety, naturally. And then to be abusive on top of it?
Thankfully I’ve never witnessed hitting in public. My questions is, how do you handle that? Do you say something directly to the parent?
I said nothing to the mom. I gave her a dirty look. But I was extremely offended and plan to start saying something.
So sorry you had to witness that hideous woman behave in such an uncivilized manner. The not so nice version is yes she is an unreasonable bitch. I know you wanted to shake her into the real world. She seemed annoyed at her child and appeared to have another agenda. That involving a non-sand filled child. Who knows?
Can you imagine what might happen when the child is not in a public place? I shudder!
I know I would be so mad. i am not sure I could keep my mouth shut. Kudos to you for having strength. I do hope your next park visit is less eventful.
I read this post soon after you wrote it (or posted it, as it were). I was stunned, and I was unsure how to respond. I kept coming back and re-reading the story.
I’m not anti-spanking, popping, or whatever people want to call it. However, the face is off limits. Period. Slapping someone (be it child or adult) in the face is disrespectful and belittling. This is the part of the story that bothers me the most.
Should the Mom have left the child alone? No. But kids get away sometimes. You tell them to stay with you – you keep an eye on them – then something distracts you and the kid wanders away. It happens.
I don’t get why the Mom was angry that the kid was dirty. Maybe she told him to stay out of the sandbox. But again, if a sandbox is around – the temptation to play is great.
I don’t know – there are so many sides to this story because we only know one side – if that makes any sense. We don’t know if the child disobeyed his Mom. We don’t know.
All that said … the slap to the head was wrong. Makes me very sad that she did that. Ugh. That is the part that stuns me. Makes me cry. I’m not sure what I would do if I saw someone slap someone else in the face in public – but I’d like to think I would something.
I realize we are not all perfect parents and we all make mistakes sometimes. But if you bring your child to a playground, you must have reasonable expectations and staying clean is not one of them.
The frightening thing about that is, if she treats the kid that bad in public…what happens when they are alone. I have no filter, and would have said something to her. Totally unacceptable not having any clue where he is for 20 minutes either. What are people thinking? Great post and nice to meet you 🙂
Thanks for stopping by! There are times I wish I did not have a filter. This was one of them. I hope that by writing about this, it will help me and other get rid of it during instances such as this one.