Ever have that moment of “A-ha” thinking during a sermon?

I got one last week when my pastor spoke on happiness not being related to money or material possessions.

It had been one of those weekends where we had activities but little cash while going to one of the biggest sport shows of the winter. And we were doing it like that again, after several years of doing it with little money.

I was angry and frustrated because the husband did his usual changing of how we were going to do things. Instead of friends driving us to the hall, he was going to drop us and find street parking. That is until he passed the entrance and decided to go for the street parking and we would all walk over.

I was trying not to get mad right until I realized he parked the car against the curb and a pile of snow. I was wearing my pretty shoes, not boots, and began feeling stupid walking around the car without getting snow in my shoes. The mile walk in a cold, cold wind in which my daughter did not wear gloves or a hat began to fuel a bit of anger in my soul. The final straw came when our usual plans for dropping off coats was not going to be used.

There is nothing worse than looking at big expensive boats and motor homes when you know you do not have the money that day to even buy a churro. While holding everyone’s coat. At least there was not a baby bag on top of everything else.

I want to be one of those women who floats around with a drink in my hands and laughing that tinkling laugh, knowing it is possible for me to by the RV with the pop-out sides and a fireplace inside. If my kids want a churro or several churros, it is not a problem. Same thing if I happen to pass Reba’s Fudge from Mackinac.

But that is not my life and sometimes it depresses me. I have to force myself remember that we are lucky with food in the pantry and a working car. I want more, to be stable, to buy whatever I want whenever I want. I don’t mean big-ticket items. Just things like clothes or cd’s or books or to go out to a restaurant without a coupon.

This is where that sermon fits in. Pastor reminded us that all of the stuff does not really matter. All of the stuff is not going with us to heaven. And the joy we feel from the love of God is longer lasting than what we might get from a churro.

It was a reminder I needed on a day when I was feeling grumpy about being a have not, churlish and childish. I still have that even when I look at expensive boats and know they will never be in my future. But sometimes, I feel like singing Janis Joplin and hope I have the same giggle she did at the end of the song.

“Oh, Lord, won’t you buy me a Mercedes Benz,”

At least I have put my wishes to the universe. How it will answer, I do not know.

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